May 1st, 2007
Assassin
We need to kill off the stupid. A girl who refers to herself as “J” on myspace has gone public with a hunger strike until contestant Sanjaya Malakar is eliminated from the TV show American Idol. Nevermind the AIDS crisis in Africa or the genocide in Darfur, we need to worry about American fucking idol. So I urge everyone to pick up their phones and call in to vote for Sanjaya so we can kill this person because if “J” is dead that means she can’t procreate! Come on people, we don’t want the world to really end up like it does in Idiocracy. I mean can you imagine that? Aliens finally come down to visit us and all we have to say is, “dude…”