There is a level of cynicism that can do things to you. Do bad things, terrible things, and atrocious things but for some people it’s how they live no matter how much they fight it. For the longest time I was in denial that this person was me. But now I’ve come realize that this may in fact be my persona. That taking someone’s word is of little value or authenticity and could hurt or sting.

Ever since I could remember my peers have been ever so cruel to me. I know, I know, I’m they guy who gets picked on when he’s in third grade and still talks about it today. But if child development will teach you anything it’s that when your mind is expanding very rapidly and absorbing experiences and knowledge at a fast rate then things will begin to stick as the learning process beings. And as I ruminate about these experiences that have made me the person I am today believe it or not, they in fact still hurt. As much as I would like for these memories to become embers so my tensions can placate, they can’t.

So comes a new philosophy that manifested with these terrible experiences of betrayal and lost love in mind. If you’re going to have these emotions then put them to use. I love to write various things: jokes, rants, music, movie shorts, and poetry. There can be something beautiful that comes out from a disturbed and mildly deranged mind. The anger, pain and sorrow have to be channeled in a way that benefits and not kills you. When you let your emotions get the best of you then things like Columbine happen. So this new philosophy of mine goes something like this; there are good emotions and useful emotions. The good emotions come out when your mind is full of euphoria, being around good friends and any sense of being accepted. The useful emotions come out during times of despair. When things feel like they’re falling on you purposely and you’re cornered without escape. This is when your inner beauty can arise and something productive can be expressed.

Winston Churchill once said, “When you’re going through hell, keep going.” This simple quote is what I’ve said to myself numerous times and believe it or not it has given me a sense of awareness that things are never impossible to get out of. So when times of deep despair contaminate and there is a feeling of no way out then just write something down. Write anything! Believe it or not writing anything down can be more cathartic than you think. Let the inner artist out and take advantage of your emotions and express how they can be a benefit instead of a burden. So while the callous people who made you feel this way have their own motto: Cursum Perificio (Latin for “my journey ends here”), we can say through our art that we’re not going anywhere and that our pilgrimage called life has just begun…